Rehab: Week 1

11 Oct

In the past six years the longest I’ve gone without Mountain Dew is 24 hours, at best.  So naturally, the idea of going three months was enough to make a grown man cry.  And I’m man enough to admit that I did (in the shower with the radio on so no one could hear).  Most addicts (read: celebrities) with my level of reliance on a foreign substance seek treatment through a rehabilitation clinic where trained professionals can help them battle their demons.  I called a handful of clinics in Southern California seeking admittance, only to be laughed at when asked what addiction I was battling.

Well the joke is on them.  It has been just over a week since I started my Dew-fast (officially started on Oct. 1) and I’m feeling strong.  Admittedly, the first two days were full of doubt, anguish, hallucinations, etc.  But I weathered the storm.  Having never given up Mtn. Dew for any extended period of time in the past six years, I wasn’t quite sure what to expect, nor am I sure what to expect as the time wares on.  But in a recent episode of the TV show Modern Family, I caught a possible glimpse of the possible stages yet to come as two of the characters attempted a juice fast.

What stage am I in right now?  I’m not quite sure.  My wife and co-workers would tell you I’m in the Mountain Man stage (Void of any desire to maintain a dignified appearance, I haven’t shaved since I started the fast).  Maybe they’re right.  Perhaps in some odd way I expect my beard to fill the void left when Mountain Dew was so quickly (read: savagely) torn from my life.

Until next week, stay thirsty my friends.


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